In a Whatsapp chat with my favourite girls recently, a friend and I mentioned how our husbands aren’t the most romantic men. This being said, my friend and her husband are one of those couples that I think are super compatible and sweet in their own ways. This is when I also realise how the definition of my “ideal man” has indeed changed from when I was a teenager to what I think now.
1. On romance
At 19: He takes note of it when I spend more time looking at a pretty necklace and surprise me by buying it for me the next day. He sends me flowers randomly and serenade me by the window.
At 29: We accommodate each other’s lifestyles and try to find a way to make our ambitions complement each other. He does the laundry for me because I want to catch up on the TV programme or make breakfast so I can sleep in. He gets off earlier from work by starting work earlier so he can have dinner with me.
2. On beauty
At 19: He cannot be seen complimenting other girls. He always has to say I’m the most beautiful woman he has ever laid his eyes on.
At 29: He thinks I’m beautiful even when I don’t have my makeup on. We can compliment beautiful women together without me thinking that he loves me any less.
3. On spending time together
At 19: We have to see each other often and go out on frequent fun dates.
At 29: Spending quality time can just be staying at home watching TV, discussing about its content or what we think about it. But it’s important to spend some time every day sharing how the day went.
4. On disagreement
At 19: No matter what, he has to apologise first. Preferably with flowers or a nice surprise to make me happy.
At 29: Communicating what each of us is upset about is important. Even if he doesn’t agree, he has to understand and we have to try to find a way to avoid that raw nerve in the future.
5. On conversations
At 19: He has to make me laugh.
At 29: I still like a man who makes me laugh. But more importantly, he should attempt to understand the things I’m most interested in. We should be able to talk about anything under the sun, and have endless conversational topics.
Did you find your ideals changing as you get older?